1 year looking back

One year has finished. One year as a foreign teacher, in a country where my language is foreign but supposed to be the language of education. One year of travel, one year of new friends. After all of it, I say bring on one more. One more year and it will be enough. Just let me change 10 of my young pupil's future and it will be enough. And one year in and I realize I have made a difference, just not in the ways I always thought it would be. So, let's look at that one year.

Coming to Tanzania I thought I would be the perfect volunteer. Teaching as much as I could handle and then more, running a health club, finding computers for the school, teaching students to use computers and playing sports with the students after school. I also thought I would be out in the village talking to the locals and enjoying the local culture becoming a part of the community. Yes, I have done all of these things. Some of them were a great success and made me fall in love with people and places in this country, and some of them have brought out some of the bitterness I hold for Tanzania.

When it comes down to it, teaching is my job, and should be the activity I'm most successful at. Not true. Teaching is hard. Really hard. In the beginning 68 periods of hard work, that really didn't lead to much. If there is something that I have learned about teaching, it is don't over extend yourself. Take on a smaller load, and really put some work into it. 68 periods was too much, and the 34 after that was still too much. It wasn't until I came to my new school that I finally found that right amount. Teaching 20 periods of math and physics per week is perfect. Not only do I get to learn my students names, but I have time to find out where they are from and what their goals are in life (note: they really need to work on goal setting). After classes I can run labs and homework sessions. I have time to grade a test every week, not just midterms and finals. Giving homework is no longer a chore for me. Yet, I would still not say I'm a great teacher. I'm good, but not great. Sometimes I think I have that little spark missing that all my favorite teachers had. So I have had to find ways to make up for that.

What have I done? Well, first of all, showing up every day with a smile on my face. This little act has made a bigger difference in most of the students lives than any teaching I have done. Why? Because it shows them that someone cares for them in a country where the adults are usually short sighted and don't care as much as they should about the well being of there children. Many teachers don't come to class, and when they do they are busy giving out punishments and yelling at the students for being stupid. So just that one smile, that one good job and that one I'm proud of you makes a huge difference in these young adults lives. I also have started to find kids after school and give them a little prodding. Asking them why they weren't in my class and how they plan to make up for it. Talking to the students about their lives and how their breaks were and always smiling. Even when I am mad it is best to smile because how are people supposed to learn when they aren't comfortable.

I spend so much time on education anymore that I have stopped doing many of my outside activities. The health club started out great, but then I left my old school and along with it my fellow health teacher and best friend. What I realized was that I wasn't the great health teacher, it was him. He was that teacher with the spark who drew kids to him and knew how to talk about even the most uncomfortable issues without any controversy. Me, I was always just along to answer the questions that my counterpart couldn't answer. Now that he has gone, that part of my work is gone. I will still answer any questions that my students have, but there is no club and its not likely to start one in the future. However, my friend has gone on to another school where he started a new club with great success, and he makes it a point to teach health every week. As for computers, I am still working there. I am looking for different options to bring in computers to the school and have my headmasters support in setting up a room and running classes. It is a goal of mine and hopefully I will reach it before I leave. Sports with students was very short lived. I realized that there is something to be said about maintaining that distance between teacher and student.

As for going out into the community and meeting people, that has been one of my greatest frustrations in Tanzania. I live in the Kilimanjaro region where lots of white tourists and "volunteers" come for short periods of time without knowing the culture or how their actions will affect the long term development of this country. Most come and hand money out to whom ever tells them they are in need. This and American music videos and tv shows has created an association that all white people are good for is money. In the beginning I would spend months getting to know a person, only to have to them ask me to build them a house or pay for their bus fairs. Often times it is my first time meeting them and all they ask for is money or a beer. Even with the more educated individuals this happens, causing me to have a severe lack of trust in members of society. Integrating into society has become less of a goal of mine. Instead I try to focus on those people who are important to me. I spend my time with my students, my headmaster and my friends at school.

Looking forward to my last year of service I have a few goals in mind: 1. Focus on my young ladies. They are the ones who get the worst parts of this society. If I can influence just half of them to finish their education, to be responsible sexually and to demand respect as a member of society, then I have made a difference in hundreds of lives. 2. To enjoy the people who I know and care about. Instead of going out in the community, and becoming frustrated, I'm going to enjoy the time at school with the people who are changing my life for the better. 3. To build a basketball court for the school. 4. To get computers, even if they don't arrive until after I have left. And most important 5. To never stop smiling for my students.